The "News"

In a world filled with hot takes, breaking alerts, doomscrolling, and filter bubbles, Real Pennsylvania News dares to ask: What if the news could be honest, absurd, informative, and entertaining—all at once?

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Welcome to your new favorite corner of the internet. We’re Real Pennsylvania News—a locally-rooted, digitally-delivered blend of real reporting, surreal storytelling, razor-sharp parody, and a good old-fashioned truth sandwich. We report on what’s happening in Pennsylvania, what could happen, what definitely didn’t happen—but probably should—and everything in between.

Think of us as your front row seat to the Keystone State’s bizarre, beautiful, sometimes baffling reality—sprinkled with humor, grounded in facts, and wrapped in the unapologetic flavor of Pennsylvania itself.

 

Let’s break it down for you. What is Real Pennsylvania News exactly?

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🎯 THE CORE MISSION

 

Real Pennsylvania News was born out of a simple idea: Pennsylvania is weird. Beautifully weird. Historically weird. Politically weird. Culturally weird. And endlessly fascinating.

We realized there wasn’t a news outlet that fully embraced the entire Pennsylvania experience. Sure, we’ve got the big names covering crime, politics, weather, and sports. But what about:

• The guy in Scranton who swears a UFO landed in his backyard and offered him pierogies?

• The pothole in Allentown that has its own Facebook fan page?

• The raccoon that ran for Mayor of Erie and almost won the write-in vote?

• The official state sandwich being snubbed for a TikTok-famous meatloaf hoagie?

 

This is our turf.

We set out to be a hybrid platform: part serious reporting, part satire, part local lore, part investigative mischief. We cover the real news. We poke fun at the fake. We add surreal flair to the mundane. We create parody headlines that make you laugh—and then make you think. We even throw in the occasional article that starts as a joke and ends in a real civic conversation.

We are Real Pennsylvania News. A truth-adjacent, irony-forward, parody-possible, locally-grounded media experiment.

 

🧩 WHAT YOU’LL FIND ON OUR SITE

We don’t believe in categories that box us in—but here’s a peek at what we’re cooking up across the Commonwealth:

 

📰 The Real News (Actually Real. Like, Fact-Checked and Everything.)

Yes, we really do journalism. You’ll find:

• Local stories about Bucks, Chester, Lancaster, Allegheny, and beyond

• Profiles of people doing weirdly awesome things in small towns

• Deep dives into issues affecting Pennsylvania life—from zoning laws to zombie raccoons

• Quirky history pieces that shine light on the Keystone State’s chaotic past

• Public health updates, breaking news, civic issues—reported with integrity

Every real story is vetted, confirmed, and tagged as “REAL” in bold lettering. Because truth matters, even when it’s stranger than fiction.

 

🎭 Surreal Spotlights

These are our “Wait, what?” pieces. Sometimes true. Sometimes speculative. Often both. These stories include:

• Imaginary town hall meetings where goats demand road repairs

• Dreams of a PA Turnpike that teleports you straight to Pittsburgh (no tolls!)

• Visions of a world where Scrapple is used as currency

These aren’t lies. They’re creative explorations of truths we wish existed—or satire that mirrors reality too closely for comfort.

 

🤡 Parody and Satire

We proudly wear our satire badge. We write stories like:

• “Governor Declares Wawa as Religion to End Statewide Divide”

• “Hershey’s Unveils Chocolate Gasoline to Sweeten Economy”

• “Philly Cheesesteak Declared Sentient, Declines to Be Eaten”

 

These aren’t real. But you knew that. Or maybe you didn’t—because sometimes reality is just that wild.

But our satire comes with ethics. We never publish parody about real tragedies, real victims, or vulnerable communities. We punch up, never down. And we always label parody clearly, so your mom doesn’t share it on Facebook thinking it’s real (but if she does, we won’t judge).

 

🔍 The Side of Truth

 

Here’s where it gets spicy. Some of our articles straddle the line:

• A real event told from a surreal perspective

• A fake town that represents a very real issue

• A story that begins with parody but ends in action

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We believe in the power of storytelling to spark change—even if that story involves a goose running for school board.

 

📍 WHY PENNSYLVANIA?

Because there’s no place quite like it.

 

Where else can you find:

• Amish farmers, Philly rappers, and Pittsburgh tech bros all in one day?

• A political landscape that swings harder than a Hersheypark rollercoaster?

• A statewide debate over whether Sheetz or Wawa reigns supreme?

• Counties with more cows than people, and cities with more murals than mailboxes?

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Pennsylvania is the crossroads of America’s past, present, and parody-worthy future. We’re the birthplace of democracy, the land of cheesesteaks, and the spiritual home of strange weather patterns and even stranger local news stories.

We love this place. And we know you do too—even when it makes no sense at all.

 

🤳 WHO’S BEHIND REAL PENNSYLVANIA NEWS?

 

We’re a motley crew of journalists, comedians, artists, designers, ghostwriters, tech nerds, policy wonks, and everyday Pennsylvanians who got tired of yelling into the void. We came together with a mission to create a new kind of media—one that blends sincerity with snark, facts with fun, and headlines with heart.

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Some of us come from traditional newsrooms. Others came from TikTok. Some of us have worked in state government. Others have worked at Sheetz. One of us swears they met Bigfoot in the Poconos.

 

We fact-check. We research. We also laugh. A lot.

 

And we always ask the same question: Does this help people understand Pennsylvania better—even if it’s through absurdity?

If the answer is yes, we hit publish.

 

🧠 OUR VALUES

Here’s what keeps us grounded (even when the stories get weird):

 

✨ Authenticity

We celebrate the realness of Pennsylvania life. Its quirks, its beauty, its complications. We don’t chase clicks—we chase connections.

 

🧂 Humor

Laughter is a powerful truth-teller. If it makes you giggle and think, we did our job.

 

🧠 Intelligence

We don’t talk down to our readers. We assume you’re smart, curious, and capable of navigating nuance—even when it’s wrapped in satire.

 

🗳️ Civic Engagement

We’re not “just jokes.” We want Pennsylvanians to vote, show up, care about their communities, and maybe run for office—even if they were inspired by an article about a possum mayor.

 

🛑 Ethical Satire

No punching down. No lies that hurt real people. No using parody to excuse misinformation. We play fair, even when we play

hard.

 

🌐 WHERE TO FIND US

 

You’ll find Real Pennsylvania News right here on our website, but we also haunt the internet like a ghost in an abandoned Bethlehem steel mill:

• 📸 Instagram: For behind-the-scenes goofs and surreal snapshots of real PA life

• 🐦 Twitter/X: For breaking weirdness and very serious news about squirrel unions

• 📘 Facebook: So your uncle can yell at our parody headlines

• 🎥 TikTok: Because everything is funnier with a voice filter and banjo music

• 📨 Newsletter: Weekly weirdness, straight to your inbox. No spam. Unless it’s the canned kind.

 

👀 WHAT READERS ARE SAYING

“I laughed so hard I spit coffee on my phone. Then I learned something. Then I donated to a local food bank. This site is dangerous.”
— Kara from Carlisle

“I didn’t realize the story was satire until halfway through. Then I got mad. Then I got inspired. That’s... weirdly effective.”
— Mike from Media

“I don’t trust the mainstream media, but I do trust this goat that writes about tax reform.”
— Anonymous comment on our “Billy the Goat Runs for Treasurer” article

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🏁 FINAL WORDS (FOR NOW)

Real Pennsylvania News is more than a website. It’s a movement, a mood, and a Middle-of-Nowhere-to-Center-of-Everything media moment.

It’s for the locals who know what Scrapple is and still eat it proudly.
It’s for the students protesting potholes and politics.
It’s for the cynics who want to laugh.
It’s for the optimists who want to act.
It’s for anyone who believes that the truth is worth telling—even if it’s through a raccoon in a bowtie.

So buckle up, Pennsylvanians. The ride is real. The stories are surreal. The news? It’s somewhere in between.

This is Real Pennsylvania News. Welcome home.